Blips and Changes

Over the last 5 months (when I say that I really started kicking into a different lifestyle, despite having started losing weight since last January) , a lot has changed for me, mostly psychologically. With all things psychological, they are the hardest habits to break and make.

On one hand, the gym is not longer a place that I dislike, I actually enjoy heading there, and feeling good that I was active for the day. For example, yesterday I took an extra long nap, which I suppose I needed. I woke up at 7pm, and thought the gym closed at 9pm. I got dressed and headed over, forgetting break hours are – 8pm (4pm on weekends). To me that is a crappy summer schedule, as I am still paying to use their facilities during the summer. Anyways, it is just amazing how just a year ago, going to the gym at all was such a struggle, and now it is commonplace and I enjoy doing it.

The other key components of this journey is obviously the food intake. Most days are good, I don’t have cravings as much like I used to, but what does happen is if I have a little bit of something – my body goes nuts and wants to indulge. I’ve only actually done this a few times, and I feel terrible after. It is never worth it, but the intensity of the craving, at times, is just so great. When I was in CT a few days ago, I felt bad that I didn’t eat well, although the calories didn’t go much over my goal, the fat content and carbs were not great. Yesterday and today were pretty good eating days, and Thursday was an amazing gym day for me. I need to just ramp up some of these workouts, as I have been plateauing for a couple of weeks. My original main goal was to be below 200 by May 19th, and I hope I can get there, if my body would be a little more cooperative! Anyways, the food and cravings have been kind of crappy lately – I haven’t been doing bad, just that they are existing. I think I have done a good job about my solo eating, but as summer draws there are more pot lucks, parties, etc., where the social eating gets crappier. I need to just start making my own meals to bring places, which a lot of people do – i’ll just tell them i’m gluten free haha – that always seems to work.

But honestly, after I really thought about it, once in a great while to have some not great food isn’t terrible, considering for 25 years I ate that crap everyday, I need to give myself a break and realize that these changes won’t happen overnight, and eventually they will feel more and more natural. If I have a diet soda once a month, that I shouldn’t feel terrible for it. For example, I had an apple for a snack earlier – which is something I would have never done in the past. It is still a very mindful process, but again it’s only really been a few months since I started in really altering long term habits.

Overall, things are going well, hoping to hit my goal soon! Now I am off for a 2 hour session before the gym closes at 4! Then I am off to hopefully see Bully tonight.

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