Tough love. It works for some people and not for others, but regardless of which method of motivation works best for you, I find that one of the biggest problems with folks is the inability to get out of their own way. Often times, we have so many excuses as for why we can’t (more often, won’t) change. We often feel so bad about for ourselves that we can’t see ourselves in a better life. We work too much, we don’t love ourselves enough, we have chores to do, we don’t have enough money, the list goes on. An old mentor of mine used to say, “All excuses are valid, none will work.” To lie to ourselves is the greatest lie of all because it stunts our greatest potential. I don’t think most of us actively pity ourselves, I think we get caught up in a routine of negative self-talk, a routine of complacency, and a routine of taking our lives at face value. When we do this, we do not allow room for expansion and growth. I’ve heard the phrase, “I need to lose weight,” more times in my life without seeing any worthwhile attempt to make a change than I can count. People love the idea of change without having to do the actual work. Feeling bad for yourself and your excuses is a safe and comfortable place to be. Many people end up living in the routine of their own lives; staying in relationships they don’t want to be in because the thought of having to be alone seems worse than being unhappy, hating who they see in the mirror because it seems insurmountable to lose weight with their busy schedule, children, and 100 things they have to do, or quitting that job you hate because of the fear of your bills and the life that you have that may fall apart. Again, these are all valid ‘excuses’, and you are more than welcome to use them to justify a lack of change, but just know that until you let go of these, you will always be stuck in that place. Step outside yourself, and leave the pity party behind.
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