Life isn’t always full of roses. Sometimes we need to be in a state of recovery. Whether it is because we fell down and broke our foot or because we are going through a tough time and need to recharge mentally. Shortly after my dad died last year, I told myself that I would make him proud by keeping my health intact. Part of the reason I lost weight back in 2012 is because my family was faced with many health concerns (diabetes, heart conditions). I didn’t want that to be my future. My dad told me shortly after I lost the weight that he never said anything, but my weight gain over the years was starting to worry him. Mind you, he was a large man himself, and I likely would not have used that as a learning opportunity, but I asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?” He said because he didn’t want to hurt me. I understand where he was coming from, but I am happy that before he left this world, he saw me regain my health, something that, very sadly, cost him his life. That’s part of my story, part of my wounds to heal, and part of the reason it is difficult to see beauty sometimes, but it took several months before I even stepped back into the gym. To find the meaning during death is so incredibly difficult. To be resilient through hopelessness and sorrow is an experience that shakes who you are at your core. I feel fortunate to have developed a strong resiliency to challenge in my lifetime, due to other hardships, but this was somehow different and remains different to this day, but that cannot change the status of my current life. To grieve is healthy, but to move on is healthy as well. So, this goes back to a previous post about belief – you have to believe that these things will sort themselves out as you work on your life and keep progressing forward, even through times of darkness. There is meaning, motivation, and inspiration is all experiences, and this was potentially the greatest one in my entire life.
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