The dismal side of the journey

I have been meaning to write this blog for about two weeks now, but with school starting up, flea infestations, and other stressors, I have had the time or energy to write here. Time and energy, it’s what we all need to get us through the next hump whether it is preparing a healthy meal, getting to the gym, or having to read the constitution for homework. Whatever it is, there will be obsticles in your way, and often times, it will be you.

About 2 weeks ago, I started getting into a rut with my mental piece of my lifestyle. I’ve said it before, and i’ll say it again, this journey is not easy, there will be days you will not want to keep going, there will be days where you don’t abide by your own rules, and there will be days that you feel like there is no reason to continue. Well, there is a reason, and it’s your future. With that said, I had a solid week where finding the mental energy to go for a run or do anything active was lost. I had already signed up for some races earlier in the summer, which I did not bail out of (thankfully), but other than that I felt like I was overeating, being inactive, and was feeling generally kind of fat. Despite having lost 90 lbs. there are still fat days, days where you feel like your skin in gross, days where eating a piece of cake would be easier. One of those days, I had gotten some ice cream (something I had not had in almost a year), and I moderated rather well, so the week after that, I got some more ice cream, and wrongly decided to eat from the container. After gorging myself, I felt like crap – and that was a small turning point for me to get my ass back on the wagon and keep going forward. In these moments of weakness, we have two options, forge on or bail out. DO NOT BE SOMEONE WHO BAILS OUT. You will always regret it, you will never regret continuing to do well by yourself. With that said, do know there will be days that are psychological mountains, and you need to climb it, get over it, and carry on with wherever the next path takes you. 

Since then, school has started back up, which has given me less time, but I have scheduled all of those little fitness classes right into my schedule (Today is Cardio Barbell Blast). Holding yourself accountable is the #1 motivator you need. I never want to slip back into my old way of living, and I know there will be days, hell even weeks where things do not seem like they are progressing. For example, I only last 3 pounds in the last month, but I know I gained a crapload of muscle through doing insanity and other stuff. Even when you don’t want to, JUST DO IT. 

It is going to be a lifelong battle, I think it is for anyone in this type of situation. Even the guy who lost 400 lbs. that Chris Powell trained gained like 200 of his pounds back – anyone is able to fall and revert, which is scary, yet motivating. You have to constantly remind yourself that YOU ARE ON THE LINE, your health, your body, and your mind. So, if you are reading this, and you have that tub of ice cream in your hand that I did just a week and a half ago, take one more bite (because it is tasty), and put it back in the freezer, get on your shoes, and go run, walk, bike, do anything – give yourself your life and don’t sit through it. 

Alright, signing off so I can get ready for the gym. 

Oh, and also, I tried CrossFit yesterday, and for anyone who has…..knows, otherwise, look it up, you may not be ready for it right now (hell after a year of doing this, I don’t know if I am ready), but I am going to push myself harder than I ever have in my life, because…. 

WHY NOT!

Keep on keepin’ on!

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