Weak of Defeat

So, this was our first week back to CrossFit at the Recreation Center on campus (from winter break), and the workouts were all fantastic. The problem, this week was that everything surrounding me was not so fantastic. Maybe there was some residual “blah” from getting over the death flu I had for almost two full weeks, or it was just one of those weeks where nothing lines up properly. I just have not been feeling like I have a lot of energy this week, and as the week progressed, it felt like it exponentially declined. I got my first speeding ticket this week, I missed out on getting tickets to Tegan and Sara (one of my all time favorite bands), lots of snow and cold make doing anything a chore, I have been having trouble sleeping at night, and several snaffus with getting my new photography equipment. It hasn’t been all bad, and honestly, as objectively terrible as this week has seemed, I feel mostly neutral about it (which is a lot better than negative).  

Last year at this time, I know I would have just retreated to staying inside, doing only what I needed to (work, school, etc.), and just hibernate until things settled down, but that was the old me. Instead, I went to all 3 of the CrossFit workouts, today being the most difficult as the weight of the week sat directly on my back, making it harder to do pushups, I went to the local camera club last night and met a few people (this is something I would never have done before, even though it interested me – going to a meeting with all people I did not know in a new setting in a place I did not know and although I felt a little anxious about it, I am glad I went and want to return), I started really promoting my business and have a few events and jobs lined up (www.wavinghand.com if you are interested, like me on FB! haha) and, even though I am still a bit behind on it, got a lot of work done on a proposal that I am writing. All in all, 2013 has started off as kind of a crapper with first being extremely sick from the flu and really just feeling a bit off, which is kind of a drag considering this was the start of my first full year as a healthy individual, but sometimes life will send you challenges, and you can choose to let those challenges force you down, or you do the very best you can at pushing through them.

It starts with changing how you look at the situation. Did I want to go to that concert more than almost anything else I will do this entire year? Yes. Was there anything that I could do about it. No. If it is out of your control, it sucks, but you have to focus on the things you can control such as going to the gym or going to a new club that you find interesting. Life is very divided in that way, things you control and things you do not, control the things you can, and do the best to make peace with the things you cannot. I think life gives us these challenges to see what we are made of. I remember when I had the “Death” back in 2004 (read the “Where I’ve Come From link at the top to find out about the death plague I had), I didn’t give up. The two hardest things I have ever done in my life was surviving that first semester of college with extreme illness and losing the weight I have – both have taught me more about myself than I ever knew possible, and both gave me a gift, the gift of perseverance. In reality, our threshold to persevere is what will let us approach any of those things that we cannot control. Whether it is fighting through a workout or fighting through a severe illness. I believe this trait is what defines such a large piece of our identity and person. 

So, You should know, there will be some weeks that fall to shit, there might even be months, and sometimes it will seem like these things will never end, and you have two choices; you can let these situations defeat you or you can fight through them to become a better you. As the adage goes, “Nothing worth fighting for is easy”. So, keep on keepin’ on. 

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